I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
