A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
