is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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