...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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