I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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