All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
