i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
