I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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