hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize