Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
