she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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