either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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