Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
