4 words: hood of his car
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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