she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
