im about as happy as oj after his trial
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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