I need help removing her.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
