Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if only i could text you this smell
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i will never coherently bang her
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
