3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
