but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
