i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
