now i know why i became what i already was.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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