If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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