All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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