My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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