Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize