i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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