fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
