I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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