I just made out with a guy for $7.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize