i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
