Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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