Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if only i could text you this smell
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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