after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
