i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize