Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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