girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
