It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the day after is always just damage control
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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