guys are not supposed to queef...right?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
