I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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