you have to choose: penises or morals?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
