We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
