Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
