So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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