You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
