I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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