I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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