Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
