i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it's like iHOP with fire
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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