I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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