you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
