And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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