I'm really into asian looking animals
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
