I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
