imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
