Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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