y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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