I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
