I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
