So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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