If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
