I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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