I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
