Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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