So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
